Day 8

Whoa...what a day was day 8!  I had quite the opportunity to shop yesterday, as I traveled to Cincinnati to celebrate my daughter's twenty-first birthday.  So many of my very favorite stores passed by my eyes as my husband chauffeured me down to my old stomping grounds. I went by the Jeffersonville outlet malls both there and back.  I went into my charming home town, which is peppered with lovely boutiques that normally create the backdrop for my afternoon with my Bridget. I passed up on the opportunity to spend some time picking through the racks of bathing suits at Target, helping my beautiful baby prepare for her upcoming vacation.  I passed by the most wonderful TJMaxx and Homegoods and did not even shed a tear. There was a good deal of interior struggle yesterday.  It did change the way I interacted with my family.  Huh...it did change.

Changing my life is really the goal of this venture.  Day eight was certainly a departure from the norm.  Instead of shopping, I was able to enjoy time with my child and husband and her grandparents. There was time to talk and visit.  I felt less rushed and stressed. I most definitely did not have to suffer the guilt of spending hundreds of dollars on clothes and stuff.   It was...good, freeing.

On the flip side, I am beginning to realize that I should have put a bit more thought into preparing myself to go a year without a day in a shop.  I should have stocked up on things that I really "need."  I am, for some un-Godly reason, running out of several of my daily necessities, like eye cream, makeup remover/ exfoliating cloths, and the perfect powder for my shoes.  I am not quite sure how to handle this.  As I am bound not to shop myself, I will have to enlist my poor husband to take care of my personal care needs.  Just how he will find the right eye cream, I do not know.  Just how much he will enjoy finding it, I can already sum up.  He will not enjoy it at all.

It has amazed me over the years how mothering is different from fathering. The care-taking aspect of the thing is what I find perplexing. How it can be that I purchase for my husband, and in the past have purchased for my three kids, everything they use each day?  How can it be that I know the sizes and cuts of everyone's clothing, the scent of everyone's deodorant, the styles of undershirt, the type of face powder.etc?  How can it be that I know the exact length-by-neck circumference in inches of my husband's shirts and he knows none of my sizes for anything?  I know in which drawers each type of laundry is to be placed.  I know everyone's favorite meal.  Who in my family can answer all of these questions for me?  Who knows what drawer is for my socks and which drawer is for my tights?  Who knows the cut and fit I like? God only knows :)  This little shopping sabbatical is forcing me to realize how much care-taking I have been doing for the last twenty seven years.  

Don't get me wrong.  I am so pleased to be deeply connected to the wants and needs and desires of the people I love.  This knowledge is a marker for how closely I know my beloved family.  It is also the gauge for how difficult it is going to be for my husband to play a new role in among this crazy group of people.  He did an excellent job yesterday with the items necessary for a birthday celebration.  Let's just see how he fares with the eye cream! Tune in tomorrow: same time, same station.